How to Have Sex Like a Hooker (oops, I mean 'Pornstar')

Just a few tips I learned along the way, my experience of being used in pornography when I was pimped, and from a little research into the experience of other survivors of porn and prostitution. Oh yeah, and P.S., pornography is prostitution, in spite of the arbitrary line society chooses to draw: someone, be that the woman, her pimp or her agent is paid in exchange for the use of her body. Thus buyers of porn are johns, albeit one step removed, though they wouldn't like to be called that. Strange really, such sensitivity to words given the words used about the women in the porn they buy.

Anyway.

So, you're curious about having sex (definitely not making love) like a 'pornstar' (hooker)? Some handy hints:

- Disregard your body and its pain. Remember: this is not about you, it is about the johns and what they want to see, the men fucking you and what they want to do, and the men behind the camera and how much money they want to make. Your body is merely the vehicle for the sexual kicks of others, no matter how painful or perverse. As 'Buttman' John Stagliano put it, 'pleasure and pain are the same thing, right?' (1) . I guess that's empathy out the window.

- Expect to be humiliated. Much of the pleasure the punters take is from seeing you degraded, whether that be a cum facial, what they say to you (slut! whore! cunt! Say you're a cunt), or when they slap you or spit on you or do delightful stuff to you like ATMs and worse. That stuff that pro-porn peeps sometimes say about respecting the women in it for their choice to do it? BS all. They don't respect you one bit and the guys working you over won't either.

- View yourself from an outsider's perspective - a pornographer's perspective, a john's perspective. That's why you're here. Their attention's focussed largely between your legs, hence the close-ups. Oh yeah, and boobs and mouth have their uses too. That's where your value lies: in your availability to be used. Think they're bothered about how it feels for you, if you're in pain? There's no place for consideration when the camera's rolling and the johns are waiting, cheering on acts of aggression as a 'get even' with the women they can't have in their lives.

- Penetration, penetration, penetration. That's where it's at. If it can be done, someone'll want to see it, no matter how extreme. Vaginal, anal, oral... Now anal's become mainstream, the push is on for the next innovation, and your body's about to be tested to its limits, not thrilling but risky and painful, life and death. As one porn director, Mitchell Spinelli put it, 'People want more. They want to know how many dicks you can shove up an ass... It's like Fear Factor meets Jackass. Make it more hard, make it more nasty, make it more relentless.' (2) Endurance is the number one qualification you'll need here: this is not about loving sex and being proud of your body like they tell you in the magazines. Think it'll be an exciting sexual experience? Think again. We're talking prolonged rough fucking, every way possible risking tearing, being bruised so badly that sitting down hurts, and shitting blood afterwards. And they'll use anything, not just their cocks - objects or fists, anything they can force inside you. You are a set of holes to them, money to them, the more extreme the act the more they'll make. Hard to see the human when you have dollar signs in front of your eyes.

- Be prepared to thank the men abusing you, to ask them to hurt you more, fuck you harder. The physical assault's not enough: they demand to know, for the benefit of the guy sitting at home jerking off, to get him off, that you're loving it. We're treating her nasty, and the little slut can't get enough! Or some audiences want to know you're in pain, so be ready to cry. You might not be able to help that, anyway, don't beat yourself up for that, you don't know what you'll be up against, that the strongest resolve is no defence. They have a way of breaking you, shaming you, hurting you 'til your eyes water. And don't forget to say thank you like a good girl when they're done, and present to the camera: they want to see that damage!

- Lay aside any notions of choice, empowerment or control. What they say goes, to avoid more off screen violence. Obedience is demanded: they have the power, your body is their playground, to do to as they wish. No matter how aggressively they treat you while the camera's on, be aware it can and does get a lot worse when it's turned off.

- And finally, take and use anything that you can get your hands on to numb you out, to lessen the pain, mental and physical. What's going to happen will happen with or without your consent, whether you struggle or don't, whether they have to beat you or threaten you first or not. Your body is here, and it's going to be sorely misused. The best you can do is get yourself as far away as possible, whatever that takes. Drink, drugs, dissociation. That's it kid, I'm afraid that's your only weapon: you're on your own out there.

Don't confuse the lies about women in pornography being empowered or respected, being 'stars', it being a thrilling glamorous job, or anything about enjoying sex, liberating sex, with the reality. Pornography is all about money and power. Women's bodies are the means to the end, which is someone who has power over her getting rich by selling her, images of her abuse, and someone getting off on it. Maybe if they knew a little more of the reality, people would be less keen to have 'sex like a pornstar', or to emulate the dynamic of abuser and abused that we call porn.

(1) Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity, R Jensen, Southend Press, 2007, p117

(2) Ibid, p70